fugazi
I know this a personal post but I really wanted to respond! Not really solely as a personal response to the artist - I wanted to respond mostly because (I’ll be honest) I want other people to read my response. I think this kind of thinking (that being ‘nice’ is being a fake & a liar) is really damaging.
I can’t really argue that there’s an expectation for “big name” (ha ha hsdfsg) people on the internet to be good at PR. That’s the truth, although it shouldn’t apply to only ‘big name’ people on the internet. Everyone on the internet should be ‘good at PR’, and I am going to define ‘good at PR’ as being a courteous, respectful and tactful person, which are three values that (I’m sure my followers have realised) I constantly push for people to live by.
There is a fundamental problem with people believing or feeling that being ‘nice’, or trying to keep up a courteous appearance to other people is dishonest. It’s not, unless you truly, truly, truly believe yourself to be a complete and utter asshole but I still have a little speck of hope that no one on this Earth is like that. (And please God don’t prove me wrong because it’s been trying times lately.)
You can still be critical, you can still hold really strong opinions, but I don’t know why it really seems to kill people to have a modicum of tact about it. It’s not that you have to coat your words in fairy sugar and hate yourself for it … you can still be honest with yourself, with the people you interact with, without just throwing in the towel and deciding that nope I’m just eDgY and rEal and people can take it or leave it. I know because this is the kind of life I try to live by every single day. I am exceptionally proud that people think positively of me, and no, I have never felt like I have lied to myself or to anyone else. Because I haven’t. Because everyone knows that I can get mad, I hold really strong opinions (like now!) and that I am a human being and that I’m not always putting on some kind of PR act because I’m not. I’m just trying to be a decent human being. And that’s the fundamental thing, isnt it? It’s not an act.
But I know my arguments are futile if there are actually people who find being a decent human being conscious of the feelings of other people something dishonest. I actually can’t think up any counter for that, probably because there isn’t. Being ‘nice’ isn’t a suit you don on to fool people about who you really are and maybe if you have difficulty in trying to be a decent person then there’s nothing I or anyone can really do about that. If you excuse the critical flaws in yourself by saying that you’re just being ‘honest’ and ‘real’ then I throw up my hands and walk away as there’s nothing I can really say. I’m just disappointed that you wouldn’t try to be a better person, but it’s not my place to tell you what you can or can’t do with your life, and I acknowledge that.
(There are several other posts I have posted/responded to along this same kind of vein - ‘On ‘Niceness’ on the Internet’ (which I recommend) ‘I don’t understand everyone’s preoccupation with being kind’, ‘Respect all the things’, ‘I do not understand why people regard bitchiness as a good character trait’ if anyone reading would like to learn how to stay honest to yourself while still being kind to others.)
yes
